I have a friend who is somewhat like me. We each live alone. We each are home a lot by ourselves, due to COVID. I'm fairly content being home by myself. I'm not particularly lonely. I've always enjoyed my own company, and I don't have much trouble keeping myself amused. I'm seldom bored. My friend has been calling me a lot - like almost every day. I get the feeling that she's bored and lonely. She calls up and doesn't have much to talk about. I feel like she calls wanting me to entertain her in some fashion. I'm getting weary of these calls. I don't want to be mean, but I'm thinking of just not always answering the phone when she calls. Can anyone relate?

I have two questions. First: Isn't it kind of needy for her to be calling me a lot when she hasn't much to talk about? Last night, she called me at 10:15 p.m. I don't go to bed till about 12, but I still think that's kind of an impolite time to call. Plus, the call was about nothing. Something on a local TV news program caught her attention, and she wanted to know if I'ld seen it. It wasn't anything of great importance. (Somebody vandalized a store in our neighborhood.) I really didn't care, but I acted mildly interested just to be nice. She wanted to discuss it, asking me why someone would do a thing like that. I don't know. I don't much care. I made some small talk. Then I told her I was tired and was ready to go to bed. I just said that to get off the phone.

My 2nd question is how to be less available for these boring phone calls, without seeming mean and unfriendly.

I have a similar issue with my neighbor. She keeps telling me to stop by for coffee. She also seems lonely and bored. When I stop by her apartment, she basically whines about stuff. I listen patiently, but there's a limit to how much I can tolerate hearing her complaints that just go round in repetitive circles.

I guess COVID is leading to people who live alone feeling isolated, bored and lonely. They don't have some of their usual outlets to engage in. I'm in the same boat, but I manage to pass the time in ways I find meaningful - cooking, reading, watching TV, tending to my bird feeders, caring for my plants, cleaning and organizing. I'm kind of flattered to be getting the calls and invitations to stop over. But I'm tired of catering to needy people. And I'm starting to resent feeling used. I wonder if I'm being too antisocial.