Maybe you are pushing boundaries? Maybe you’re trying to get her to leave you before you leave her. Theory.

Boundaries around emails are tough. I used to have a policy that a client could email me at any time. I would answer within 24 hours. Usually a parent would tell me a child’s symptoms before their appointment. Something small. As I allowed it, emails grew into long stories, pleas for help, and bigger problems needing urgent attention were brought up. I did not have time to answer these completely and also was not compensated for my time. I had to stop allowing emails because they turned into a safety issue. Also, after seeing patients for 8 hours, spending another hour plus on notes, reading through lengthy emails to discover people were in crisis etc was something I just couldn’t do. I couldn’t help them over email.

It’s not personal and it’s not about you. It’s a safety issue.

After I ended emailing but offered phone calls and extra appointments I felt much safer. I still had one patient who got my home address and sent letters. That was a whole other thing.

Speak openly with your therapist
Clarify what you need
If you in fact do have an eating disorder, accept help. First ask why this diagnosis was made and what symptoms you show. Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt. Own up if it’s there.

But most of all, tell your therapist all of these things.