So sorry, whisperingSkye
I don't want you to hurt yourself
No wonder you're struggling. It sounds like an incredibly tough time for you
I'm no stranger to self-damaging behaviours, so I completely understand the compulsion (ED's, mostly, for me), and how it can resurface at any time.
You don't deserve to be hurt! I say that from my heart
You are a precious, kind, gentle, intelligent, lovely person