I would like to offer a different perspective.

She has spent an enormous amount of time with you, I gather. She has been there for you, you have been there for each other. She seems willing to spend time and be vulnerable, open with you, she even says that she loves you. These things make me wonder whether she intends to blow you off.

With regard to her never contacting you first: as an older person myself, I can share with you that I am reluctant to initiate contact with someone much younger than me. We can have many great conversations but I am still reluctant. I figure, rightly or wrongly, that I don't want to intrude, I don't want to make a younger person feel like they have to talk with me, I figure that they have a life and if they are interested in speaking to me they will let me know.

Have you spoken to her about it? If not, what do you think about that idea?