Talking to him only just upsets and enrages me. He invalidates my experience and all of my feelings. He downplays his infidelity, he waters it down and continues to use excuses and justifications. Then he continues to pursue me by trying to get back together with me at various times. We're both at fault for these communications that occur. Sometimes it's me, sometimes it's him.

I have a freaking interview today and I am a complete wreck. I want to reschedule, but I cannot. It's going to be disastrous. I can tell already. I am not well today. I need a hotline and/or the hospital. I have finally gone over the edge.