Given all you went through with your partner, it was very understandable that you were overcome emotionally and hense you were often emotionally exhausted. It's actually normal to feel horribly alone as grief is such a personal experience and is often lonely because of that. When another person literally fills your life, it doesn't matter if you knew that the loss was immenent because that genuinely doesn't prepare you for what that loss is going to mean in terms of how much you lived your life around that person. You spent literally years of living a certain lifestyle and if that stops it's actually more of a shock then we realize. And unless another person has experienced this challenge, they won't understand it and give it the value it deserves.

In all honesty, I had a similar experience where I had lost both my parents and my MIL and my dog close together and there were a couple individuals that inserted themselves and their problems into my life and it was more of a "oh poor you, now me, me, me". It was the same thing where my boundaries were invaded and I did not deserve that. It's not a bad thing that you are noticing how this individual is starting to invade your space like this. It's actually showing a stage in your healing that means you are making progress in reclaiming your life and sense of self again. I respect the fact that you are being bothered but you don't want to be mean to this person but want to set better boundaries for yourself. That is actually something that impressed me about you in that you have the fortitude to think before you react.

At least this friend looked for something to talk about when she called you to talk about the news. What is a bother is how she began to take over when it came to thinking it was ok to call you at her whim and it's become more frequent and is beginning to bother you. Sometimes though, it's an annoyance like this can do us a favor because it shows us how much we are gaining ourselves back again. What I appreciate about this problem is how you shared about the things you are beginning to enjoy again. You have not talked about any of this for a long time. It's exciting and heart warming for me to see the progress you are making ((Rose)). What you shared are no longer things you have to do, but instead things you want to do and are beginning to appreciate again. Welcome home to Rose again!!

Perhaps one way to tackle this is to explain to this friend that you would like to set certain times for your conversations with her to help yourself regain a sense of control of your life again because for a long time you set your own needs aside to tend to your partners needs and now you need to take back more control over your life. I think given you know her better than me, you can do this tastefully.