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Have Hope
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Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
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Default Jan 14, 2021 at 04:34 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue View Post
Hope you're feeling a bit better, Have Hope

I'm usually a big fan of honesty, but - as you say - you don't want to put her on the spot. I have been in that position after moving to a new (but nearby) town. One neighbour / friend was very insistent that we should keep in touch! Her assertiveness on the matter really put me off!

The rules of engagement for all relationships are that both people are equally into it.

Your acquaintance might have: no time / no head space / enough friends already / a time-consuming project (or something they plan to start) / a recent unpleasant experience with someone else they befriended / a secret affair ongoing / a major life-change in mind / a concern about the age difference / MH issues or conditions / a strong attachment to their daily and weekly routines...

There are hundreds of possibilities...

She's holding back from taking things further, for whatever reason, and it's best to respect that.

The last one in that list is a big thing for me, enjoying my routines. And the ongoing project (I love writing).

My former neighbour said things like, 'It's just an hour'. But it was none of her business what I did with my Saturdays, or my Friday evenings, and I resented having to explain myself.

I hope that gives you a little more clarity, as you decide what to do in relation to this woman. I really am very sorry that you feel hurt!
Thanks @Purple,Violet,Blue!

That's exactly why I don't want to aggressively pursue her or ask her about it. I'll give her space... I did buy concert tix for us for May, but that's a long ways away.

The whole thing is a big puzzle to me. She says she loves me and seems to care, but her actions say the opposite.

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