I think the old adage ,that you learn from your past and learn from your life experiences. Otherwise imo. you will get stuck in that exact question and go back & forth This is just from my own hard life s..t. I think part of it is the very hard at times to declaw from those negative of the past. Which can take some time and therapy. People always tell mee and I naturally am not inclined. That I am not running a sprint but more like a marathon or as I like to think A nice long bike ride that is clearing my head , both figuratively and in reality.