This is a tough one. Do you think it's your fear of being alone that is holding you back the most? Past trauma from abuse can be very difficult to overcome. And if you haven't felt in love with your husband for years, do you really think it's realistic that you would fall back in love? Also, abusers rarely change without intense individual therapy that addresses the abusive behaviors directly - it also takes many years of individual therapy for an abuser to truly change their behaviors. I worry for you that your husband is now the model husband but is putting on an act, or what is called the "honeymoon" phase after abuse. I worry that he could become abusive again. There's so many issues - abuse, sex addiction and infidelity throughout the marriage. The other side of divorce can be very freeing, empowering and one that is fulfilling and happy. But that's all up to you to create for yourself. I wouldn't stay in a marriage that doesn't work for you anymore out of fear of being alone.