a sincere heartfelt hug to you,i am speechless at your post.
your will alone gives you more courage, that i will ever understand. i am a mom of 3 children and i handed them over to there fathers as i did'nt realise i was ill. i just thought i couldn't cope with them seeing me this way feeling unstable.i hope the pain you feel subsides quickly and you feeling alone and scared fades away too.Somehow thats how i felt since i was 16 and now i am 34 .i can say i am not as bad as i was .

keep safe