Thank you everyone. Everything you have wrote has been so helpful. I called his parents to tell then what was going on, and for them to reach out to him so perhaps he centers down and starts remembering who he is again.

I will definitely call the va line. He is a veteran with 4 tours in iraq. He never claimed ptsd as he was ashamed of it, but he had it from the first time and got worse on his other tours. His parents actually suggested it also, I will call to ask guidance.

He is paranoid that asking for help will damage his current job, and that I will get the upper hand on the divorce. I swore to him that he didn't have to worry about that since I don't want to harm him and I care for his wellbeing. I will help him set up appointment s together, he said it was overwhelming and he got paranoid again. He thinks he is foil ng people at work, but people would have to be blind if they don't think he is a lose cannon.

He is drinking everyday. I think he is in a hotel or couch surfing since he comes here to shower and change. I don't think any friend or hobag would encourage him to drink everyday, that is not a friend. His (former?) Mistress was an alcoholic.

I have no proof that he is back with hobag again as last I heard she had moved on, I think this is a new crush, but things probably soured as who really wants to deal with this is.

Yesterday I asked him why is he doing this, and he said that he is furious that I didn't "let him" go to the wake of his friend that committed suicide. We went to the funeral together, what is the difference? He is not well.

He continues to mention guilt and death together often, do I finally figured out that he blames himself for his alcoholuc suck pervert bff's suicide and resents me for choosing me and his kids over his bff and mistress, which I think he blames his death on himself. Now everything makes perfect sense of what he says it does. I believe he thinks it was the butterfly effect, he befriends alcoholic coworker, puts his penis inside bbf's roommate/howorjer, damages family )is ashamed of himself, comes back home and hurts hobags feelings and ignores bbf's pleads to go join him to drink/party, feels guilty for hurting everyone, pervert kills himself do he caused everything in his twisted mind.

He is seriously sick. I plan on telling him that there is nothing he could have done to prevent it, bff was an alcoholic with severe detachment disorder, and plenty of money to party and use women, and he never filled that void with women, booze, reckless behavior, exotic trips etc. He was bad business and no one liked him other than my husband and his mistress, so lots of pain he carries.

Sigh...