Hi baby, thanks for the cyber hugs, I too look forward to the day when they'll be real hugs in the flesh. But if I can't find a way to put this behind me, along with all my other traumas, then they'll continue to impact me on how I behave and think today, I'll always need constant reassurance that I'm loved. I need to find a way to rid my mind of all these horrors that I've been holding onto for years but I don't know how to let go, even though I so desperately want and need to.