So she called me today wanting to drop off some take-out pizza. I declined. Told her I've got lots of food to use up. Then she stays on the phone for 33 minutes talking about nothing. (Some soup she ate yesterday gave her a belly ache.) In between these fascinating revelations, she pauses like she's trying to think of where to go next. I can hear the wheels spinning in her head - like she's thinking "What else can I try?"

I offered some small talk. Then I got quiet. Eventually, she had to give up. Instead of saying that I had to go, I just quieted up and left it in her lap to figure out how to prolong the contact. When I wouldn't keep volleying words with her, it got too obvious that she was just keeping me on the phone for nothing. So she gave up.

I should not have yielded 33 min of my day to this nonsense. This person is kind of into head games. That's what this is starting to feel like. She is very competitive and likes to provoke people. I used to think it was just her sense of humor - that she liked to tease people. But some of the zingers she tosses out are not cute, but intended to be very invalidating. I've learned not to take the bait because she gets a kick out of upsetting people.

Two months ago, she said that I sounded so uninterested in talking to her when she called. At that time, I was unwell, and she was waking me out of being sound asleep. I had been being very nice when she called, but she was catching me at very inopportune moments. I reassurred her she was very welcome to call. Now I see that as the start of the game. That was a test to see how defensive I would or wouldn't get. She gets obsessive. Years ago she got a crush on a guy-friend of hers. She went on to stalk the heck out of that guy. She had him jumping through hoops responding to her need for this and that. Eventually, he abruptly cut off all contact with her.

I don't want to be unkind to someone who may be genuinely very lonely. But I'm starting to grasp why even her close relatives pretty much have nothing to do with her.

I invited her to have dinner with me on Thanksgiving, which I cooked. It was nice. Then I invited her for dinner on Christmas eve. I had a nice meal planned. That day, when I called to encourage her to stop by, she said she felt sick. (She has this longstanding habit of not wanting to accept Christmas invitations.) So I told her that was okay. A few hours later she called wanting to come by. I told her I was concerned she might have COVID and that she should stay home. I only said that because I was sick of her accepting, cancelling, then uncancelling holiday plans - which she's done before. I don't like being jerked around. I feel that, if you back out of a planned get-together, then stay backed out. Especially when it becomes a pattern.

Another day, when she knew I was in the midst of a big cleaning job, she called to say she was having an anxiety attack and wanted to come sit in my apartment, but wouldn't bother me. It sounded like a stunt, but I will go a long way to humor a friend. Over she came. I sat and talked with her. Next I was serving her tea. More talk. Next I was making dinner for the both of us. Eventually, she departed, saying she regretted interrupting my cleaning project. It felt like it had been a test.

Anyway, she is taking up way too much space in my head. I have much I need to attend to.