I have worried. I surely will in the future, again. I'm not so at the moment because of what I am going through now. Any reasonable doctor would recognize that my move is highly triggering and that I am quite vulnerable now. Trying to push me into working now would be insanity. Yet what I have managed to do to sell my house and move amazes me, since for so many years that would seem impossible.

Apparently SSDI does give trial periods. That's reassuring for when/if the time comes to return to working. I am nervous because I will be changing psychiatrists sometime within early 2021. Perhaps the new one will see me only doing well, initially. He/she won't know my history like my old one, despite perhaps my old pdoc sharing records or providing a dx statement.

I haven't received a CDR form for a long while. I'm not sure when I will get my next. I am scared of them even when I am sure I am not ready to work. There is always a fear of losing SSDI and not being able to pay bills. I have never had to actually meet with anyone from SS as part of a review, these past 10 years. I think I am on one of the infrequent schedules, if that makes sense. As for CDRs, my first was a short form, second a long one, and third a short one again. I hope my move abroad doesn't trigger one that quickly. So people know, one can continue collecting SSDI even abroad. If ever I needed to meet with someone (other than who will be my pdoc and tdoc), SS has designated doctors even abroad for that kind of thing. If not in the city near where I will live, at least in the country's capital.

I actually do hope to be able to work at least part-time, some day. Truly! Full time? Maybe not, but who knows. My last job was an extreme trigger for me, and many at that workplace witnessed some of my bad episodes. My insanity. It was a bit traumatic.