I feel better, bit the struggle to get through this will be long. Thank you for your words of care and support. I feel alone and lonely. I feel stupid justifying his behavior over and over. I'm trying to distract myself and my kids and not to think where he is at it where he is doing. Definetely not feeling sorry for him, he out there chasing his conquest while we sit here eating alone. I don't have any proof of his cheating now, bit I know his mistress has circled back and he is very secretive with his phone, wants to excersise and duet and gas shaved his privates (gross). The writing is on the wall. I feel bad for my kids.