It’s understandable. Childhood traumas linger and it’s expected that man like him would trigger anxiety and other responses. I am sorry you are hurting. Is there any way for you stop with this man? Panic and anxiety attacks are hard to handle and I feel you could try to avoid those by keeping away from him? I know it’s pandemics but could you try to make new friends when things get better with current situation. You aren’t alone in this struggle. We all attracted wrong people into our lives. No judgement here.

But with this guy it doesn’t sound like there is anything good or uplifting or even fun. You deserve more