Welll I hate to bring things down again after a positive post..... But I need to vent.

I'm struggling to keep functioning. I can't find any motivation to do anything at all. Chores, exercise, cook, even work. Little things are getting to me way too much.

There's talk of our lockdown getting more strict and I'm having a hard time seeing the positive anymore. I wonder if it's going to do any good. The people who don't care now still won't care. It's only going to get harder for the people who do already follow the rules.

My favourite band cancelled their tour yesterday. It was supposed to be April last year but it got postponed without a set date, and now it's been completely cancelled. I'm too numb to even be upset about it. Like I can't even imagine what it's like anymore to enjoy something? I'm just glad in the months before it was supposed to happen I was too broke to do any planning - I was gonna do the entire tour, but I only bought 1 concert ticket so far, so I won't lose too much money. Because the crook ticket website will of course keep some of the money instead of refunding in full. I have another concert in March that's already been postponed twice so I hope they will postpone again instead of cancelled completely.

A few weeks ago we got an e-mail from work about some free counseling service. I read the flyer and considered making an appointment but I don't think it'll do much good. This is purely situational. I know how I should be helping myself, I just can't be bothered. I want to crawl into my cave and stuff my face with chocolate and cookies and waffles.

Work is also getting on my nerves. I feel like I could do with some time off but then I'd only be sitting around, getting even more depressed. I can't go see my family. Can't go for a coffee. Can't go ice skating. Can't even go for a nice walk, the weather has been dreadful the last couple of weeks. Dry most of the time at least, but so dull and grey.