Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
It’s sad he died in that manner. I once attended funeral of a person who committed suicide, minister said that even though we wish the person seeked help and went on living, we have to respect that they wanted to leave, we have to honor that it was their decision and it wasn’t in our power to get them help. We have to show respect to their decision
I’d not worry about you saying hurtful things to him. What would you think you should have done? Be a doormat even more? He lived off you, used you and abused you the way he likely used and abused others, essentially You didn’t even know him that well. I’d honor the fact that you were in love but he was always unwell and certainly not a suitable partner at all.
You need to find the way to let him go. He keeps causing problems even if indirectly. I felt you married your husband in a rush to prove to this guy that you are worthy of love. You kept checking up on his online and it ended years ago. You really need to try to let him go. I am sure he held no grudges over what you said to him in anger. I am sure he knew why because he knew he was doing everything wrong because he was not well.
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Divine, while I appreciate what you're saying, and agree even, we all have our own timetable for "letting go". It's not helpful to tell someone to let a person go when that person caused SO much heartache, pain and anguish.
The past is the past, but it took me 3 years to get over him. And yes, I rushed into marriage in part to get back at my ex fiance. I know this. But what's done is done. What's the point of bringing that up now in my state of grief?
I have been in tears on and off all day. I am very effected by this tragedy. It's the day I just found out about his death. Respectfully, please don't tell me to let go when this is so very fresh. I have to grieve this, and I am going to still process it. I am sure in time. I can let it go finally. I won't beat myself up about my hurtful words.