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*Beth*
catches the flowers
*Beth* is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind, body, spirit.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
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Default Jan 17, 2021 at 12:01 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by prettymccute View Post
Thank you both for what you said. I hate when I think of him. He was and always will be my baby. I don't care if he was an adult. I've told my other boys since then that they are my babies. I don't think a mom ever sees them any different.

He was a good person. He loved me very much, and I love him.

I used to text him, even after he was gone. Silly, I guess, but I felt like I was reaching him the air waves maybe.

The last time that I texted him I said, "Tyson, it's snowing" When he was growing up, we got a lot of snow. I moved, and we get very little here.

The last time I did that, I sat with my phone in my hand, missing him. I almost fell of my chair when I got a text back.

It said "This isn't Tyson, but enjoy your snow."

It seemed funny at the time, but now I can't do the little thing I enjoyed.

I planted a tree for him on Earth Day. It felt like "My Place" to be with him, as I don't live where he is buried. Now I've moved from that home. I wanted to bring the tree, but it was horribly expensive.

I had a therapist that told me I was grieving too much. I didn't go back to her.

I suppose this all has no point, except that I feel so darn bad about Ty. I really REALLY miss him.

I thank everyone that reads this. I'm sorry to run on. I wish I knew how to feel better. I just can't. I lost someone else as well. I took care of a partner that died of a brain tumor. We went through the whole process of her finding out about it, of trying to save her life, of driving to chemo treatments, her being told she was going to die, hospice, and a funeral. We tried so hard, and we couldn't make anything better. Tyson dying was the most horrible thing that happened to me. Her death was the most horrible thing I was involved in.

It all stinks.

I'm just so, so sorry. My heart goes out to you.

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