Honestly the way this man was in every aspect and how the whole thing transpired no parents would find that acceptable or had good things to say. I’d be devastated if my daughter brought someone like him home. And if anyone abused her! I’d of course have to accept thats who she chose but I wouldn’t have much blessing in my heart. You have to look at it from their position, why would they speak nicely of him

I don’t think it’s realistic to never speak poorly of people who died. Your parents didn’t speak poorly of him at the funeral or to his family, that would be unacceptable. You were with him rather briefly in a long scheme of things and they likely don’t feel like they have to offer so much comfort to you now or find good things to say. Would they have to do it for every ex you had? Did they know his family? They could send a card.

I think you seeking comfort from wrong people about death of an ex (your soon to be ex and your parents) and maybe the amount of comfort you need about this man passing sounds excessive to them. Are you still seeing a therapist? Do any of your friends knew him or you had mutual friends? You could comfort each other better if you all knew him well.

I wonder if this death devastated you so much because of current divorce and maybe it triggers something else? Does it mask the pain over divorce? Sometimes we subconsciously shift pain on to something else