You are divorcing your husband so emotions are raw on both sides. He might not have it in him to comfort you over death of another man. If he was the person providing with what you need during marriage, you’d not be divorcing. He is soon to be ex.

Your soon to be ex husband has been abusive and unfaithful and that’s why you are divorcing him. You now want him to be kind and loving and become nurturing and comforting over death of your other ex.

I get that you expect him to be comforting but not too many soon to be ex husbands would especially when it’s so emotionally volatile. You told him he is a monster and you hate him (for good reasons) but now you want him to turn around and support you grieving over some other guy. Your husband is a moron but even he cannot be expected to do all that.

I do get high standards in behaviors. But why do you expect high standards from your husband if you are divorcing him? If he behaved with high standards, you’d stay married. And if you have high standards in people ( I know you do) why do you go for low standard people but then expect high standard behaviors. That’s why I said it’s unrealistic. It’s like trying to buy flowers in a butcher shop. They don’t carry them

I don’t know about parents. Not sure. My daughter is a widow. She is getting married second time. My daughter was in a bad shape when my dear son in law died and she needed a lot of support from all of us on both sides of the family. It was a painful ordeal. Perhaps your parents don’t feel they need to provide support as if you were a widow or at least a current girlfriend or this man was continuous presence in everyone’s life. And they are supporting you in divorce so they might not have much left to give. Aren’t they older? Plus you said they aren’t usually that supportive

I just don’t think you need another thing to be upset about. How these people react to the ex’s death. It’s not in your control.