Discussing that suicide is selfish is ignorant of them. No one knows why people do what they do plus they didn’t even know him. That’s I agree was not right at all

It sounds like those 5-6 months you were not seeing each other in person and dating virtually and a lot of sheer happiness was a bit of a fantasy. When he arrived in person, he turned out to be not a wonderful love story and he was not suitable for relationship and abusive to boot. I wonder if when you broke up, you grieved the version of him that you thought he was, like grieving a dream that could never come true. And you are doing it all over again

Maybe that’s why it is so intense and others just don’t get it because they kind of know of real him. Abusive, mean and dishonest. They don’t feel like it warrants comforting you

I do understand you want them to comfort you but they see him as an abuser and might not understand why you need comfort about his death. You only knew each other for a year and only 3 and a half months in person and he was bad news and mean to you. They might not grasp why is it so intense

What was so profound about him and his place in your life? Did you feel that’s how real love feels? but you didn’t really know him. You were in love with a fantasy, real him was so mean to you. I feel like there is something that causes these intense emotions and not fully moving on from these troublesome men. Like even when you have a new man you are still not moved on from the old one. It keeps on lingering and resurfacing

I should bow out. I don’t want you to keep suffering about these abusers but I guess i am not helpful. I just have real fear that you’ll keep going for these men and as more abusive they are, more intense you feel for them and more important they are for you. Like the most abusive is the most important. That kind of scares me. I hope you can discuss this with abuse advocate or with good therapist in the future.

Wish you the best