Thank you everyone for your concern and advice. I read your thoughtful replies carefully after a long and difficult weekend. Thank you for taking the time to write, it means a lot to me. Thank you.

A few take aways and updates:

- Yes, I've been diagnosed with ptsd myself due to the trauma of infidelity two years ago. It was the worse thing, I sought counseling to manage the triggers and be better. I got better and got over it and then, Evan! Here we go again...

- I just want him to go but don't know how to say it without enraging him. He already has an exit strategy which he is not sharing, but I'm assuming, he will move out once he files for divorce to cover his behind, so in the meantime he pretends to be here and makes us all miserable. He is trying, but it's too difficult.

- Yes, I love him.but I'm done with his BS. Let his new hussy nurse his health and do his laundry. I deserve better than the coldness he shows, it makes me feel bad about myself.

-I'm done feeling sorry for him. I am done justifying his behavior. Cheaters cheat, takers take, and he prefers being elsewhere than with his innocent children, so no more excuses for him. There are other choices to handle things and he refuses, this is his choice, and not good ones, and I can't stop him fr pursuing "what he wants". I just get informed of what he wants. I'm.tired.

I feel that even though it has been painful and that I've humiliated myself and acted like a chump, I see things clearer on what I need and deserve, someone here me tioned that he can't give that me so it's best to let go, and let go and doing, it's hard, but the man I love is no longer there, his eyes are dead, his heart is elsewhere and he is too far gone into the rabbit hole. I am looking out for my kids and myself, that is the kind of live I need now.

-he is genially happier when away because he doesn't have to lie, deceive, hide his phone, live a double life, look at his innocent children in the eye etc. So for the sake of his happiness that he do desires,candy mine, he should go. I anticipate in 2 week tops from what I gather. Please help me get through this.

Thank you!