Often what the grief is about is once someone is gone there is no more chance for that person to finally say they are sorry and that you did not deserve to be treated the way you were treated. Sometimes, the grief is more about wanting to be able to love the person, but the person is not receptive and once they are gone there is no chance of that desired connection to ever really happen. Sometimes the desire is so great that you would give up your own life just to finally experience it (this is emotional not rational). I think that is what your dream is conveying.

Even though it's been so many years, the fact that you have more life experience and have matured into adulthood, that desire never went away. Sometimes it's a question of "now that I am older could I say it better than when I was younger".

Often, a person doesn't really change and are not receptive no matter how old a child gets. It was never you or your worthiness, it was more than likely something he was never capable of giving to anyone.