Quote:
Originally Posted by BethRags
I understand so well. I'm 58 and was a wife and an at-home mom while my children were growing up. When they left for college I worked part time. I did that for 15 years, it went really well, but the time came when I had to make some changes. I'm on SSDI and, although I don't feel like a burden to anyone (well, not too much, anyway) I also don't see a future for myself. I have talents, I have experience. I have always been a volunteer in some capacity. Prior to covid I was facilitating a NAMI Connection group (peer support). Covid has put a hold on that. I live alone and for many months I was fine, just me and my cats. Lately I'm bored out of my mind and lonely as hell. I have bipolar disorder and CPTSD. Most of the time nothing feels right and all I can see from here is downhill. I have to be on meds, but all the side effects are (as you probably know) ghastly.
So, yeah. I don't really feel like a burden, but I feel like a has-been with no successful tomorrow. I wish I had some suggestions for both of us, and for a whole lotta other women who feel the same way we do.
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Your story and mine run parallel to each other. I stayed home with my kids. I went back to work when my youngest was in the first grade. I had been volunteering at the schools for years before that. I decided I wanted to work for the school board, but I was thinking maintenance of low voltage devices like alarm systems, electric locks, that sort of thing. Instead they asked me to teach electricity and electronic courses to adults in night classes. The college had contracts with local businesses to teach their employees basic electrical skills. The guys from the railroad were fun. Lol!
I did that for a year and a half and then one day I got a call asking me to teach my courses in high school. In a moment of insanity, I agreed. I loved every minute of it, btw. I loved those kids like my own.
The last time I was IP, it was because I was refusing to take my meds. I was in the middle of a mixed episode (now I truly understand what the word "madness" means) and I was like, what the eff is the point in spending all this money on meds and doctors and therapists and therapies when I'm still crazy!! I was yelling at my husband, the police, and my doctor to just go away and let me die. They didn't. *sigh*