@Hurting again, this is a very good article to read that may help you see your dilemma better. This is actually something very commonly experienced when finally exiting from a relationship, something you WANTED to be healthy but wasn't. Often a person WANTS others to understand the kind of pain they are experiencing and often others are only able to see the REALITY and not the "fantasy" you created in your mind about someone that simply failed to fit into the fantasy you wanted of them. Often the grief is more for "what could have been IF ONLY" and not the reality of what a person really was. This is a grief that others may not be able to "comfort" you for when instead they only noticed how the other person was wrong and toxic and unhealthy during the entire relationship.

Emotional (Phantom Limb) Pain | Psychology Today