I'm having heart pangs - I think because I really miss having a partner to share my life with. I have reconsidered my husband several times now. Yes, I have - of course I have. His pleading got to me and got to my heart. But I know it's all lies and a front. I know he's full of BS and I know that it's simply just manipulation. I know all this. But a part of me wishes we didn't have to divorce. A huge part of me wishes he had been a different man - a far better man - and someone I didn't feel I had to leave. I sooo wish this had turned out differently. I cannot believe where I am at right now.

And he's acting all normal now. As though we're friends or as though we're on good terms. We're back to being cordial now as we coordinate details about switching the cable account to my name. We both had to complete paperwork, he has to scan the documents at his work, then email them to me so that I can upload them. What a royal pain in the butt! Geez. Could they make it any more difficult and arduous?

But yeah, he's acting as though things are fine between us, when I am bitter.