Well, my worst nightmare just happened. My T of three years suddenly terminated me. We hadn't had any rupture that I know of. But she is totally done with me and ready to wash her hands of me. She says it was clear to her clinically that I need a different therapist. Now that I see her true colors I don't necessarily disagree, but the way she did it was devastating. No warning or discussion ....or any collaboration with me.

I was super attached to her. I have an abusive mother and my T was like a mother figure to me (even though we are same age). We are also both mothers ourselves and we really clicked in that way. She helped me a lot with my parenting. I thought she was such a good fit for me and I loved her so, so much.

Last week she said I was making progress and things seemed normal to me....and this week she dumped me with a list of referrals. I have been seeing her two or three times a week for the past two years and she is my main source of support. I have cptsd , MDD, and dissociation (background of emotional neglect/abuse, CSA, lost brother to suicide, etc.).

I'm trying to figure out what the hell went wrong. I work hard in therapy... never late or cancel. I am always respectful of her. I don't get angry or yell or lose my temper. I am rather shy and introverted. I do sometimes cry in session but no outbursts or anger. I do email her outside of session. She said that was okay (but now I wonder)?? And I have dealt with suicidal thoughts my whole life but I don't threaten suicide or even call her in crisis (I use a crisis line). You guys, was I too much for her? Did I do something wrong? She says it's not my fault...but it sure doesn't feel that way. She has a PhD and is a trauma specialist so this feels especially shocking coming from her.

I am just floored right now. I don't even know what to do or where to begin. I feel like the rug has been pulled straight out from under me and I'm literally just in shock. I will post more details later.

I would love some words of support and to hear your stories of how you got through something this. I just feel so alone and heartbroken and devastated. Thanks in advance.