Thanks everyone, your posts are helpful.

She did offer to see me tomorrow but I declined. It was traumatizing to sit in front of my beloved T hoping for some support or compassion and yet have her also be the same person who was abandoning me. She was also saying things to me that felt very gaslighting. She kept saying that this is normal protocol in therapy and everyone changes therapist (even though she has never mentioned this before). Then she actually made a horrific analogy along the lines of: "you don't keep the same hairdresser your whole life." At that moment I knew I could never trust her again. She compared my healing journey to going to a hairdresser. She fully knows how abrupt and painful this would be for me (she knows my whole history of neglect and abandonment), yet she sat right there and minimized it, and made me question everything I thought I felt or knew. At that moment I knew that she no longer cared about me or had my best interest at heart.

I guess I'll have to process this with another therapist and I will probably need to continue my therapy journey as well. Part of me never wants to see another therapist again but I have to believe they wouldn't all behave this way. She was a kind and gentle therapist who encouraged my attachment... right up until the moment she dumped me. I feel duped and manipulated.

But I don't know if I can see someone new right away. I am still in shock and grief. I'm guessing this will take some time. I saw her two or three times a week so the attachment was very strong and her support was a crucial part of my life and my healing. Now she's gone and the support is gone. She will erase me from her memory and her schedule and move right along with some easier clients. I'm left holding the bag.