If you feel like trying then why not? It costs almost nothing to send an application after all. Of course always remember to practice self-care. Please do not hesitate to check yourself at the hospital when in need. The final decision is up to you in any case. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Bipolarchic14, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!