I posted this link to someone else, but after reading what you shared about needing to protect that deep injury, I thought you may find this information useful. It's important to understand that some things that hurt you in your past, like abandonment are not the same for how you CAN manage as an adult. It's not a bad thing to develop better social skills, you are not LOSING by doing that, but instead actually gaining and in so doing can develop a sense of self that may be able to no longer feel that need to protect that deep hurt part in you.

When I looked up "what kind of person needs fantasy" the first thing that came up is in fact "narcissist". Narcissists often have that inner child part that fears abandonment and struggles with self esteem. So they protect and create their own "fantasy" and if anyone dare not fit into THEIR fantasy, well, there is the rage and even desire to "wish that person dead". Their reputation as you have said "I am the bad guy" typically develops due to how they behave when their "fantasy" is threatened. They remember things about others and can seem to listen attentively, however, what they are doing is gathering whatever it is about the other person that they can use to punish them should they not remain loyal to the "fantasy" desired. They also like to use information gathered for manipulation purposes as well.

I have to say that so far I don't see the typical red flags in you MisterPaul, usually a narcissist is very skilled at drawing others into their game and they learn hoovering methods that work well.
Fantasy and Its Effect on Your Reality | Psychology Today