I have a friend I've known for the past 3 years and we were really really close. During our friendship, this friend had a lot issues with other friends and would often complain to me that other people didn't really talk to them, took ages to reply to them but would reply on group chats, generally acted cold and uninterested, etc. Of course, it upset my friend a lot to be treated like this but I supported and comforted them a lot through it when they felt down. However, these past few months I've noticed my friend basically does the same thing to me. They will take nearly two days to reply to texts, but I will always see them talking to others in group chats posting on social media, etc and it hurts me because it's the same people they spent months complaining to me about that they are constantly talking to while being distant from me (I've mentioned a couple times I felt this way and things would change a little for maybe a week and then go back to the same, so then it felt like they were doing it out of obligation which made me a little uncomfortable).

What has sort of been the final straw is when my friend and I were recently supposed to stream a movie together but on the day they basically forgot, offered a justification and (what felt like) a half-heartedly apologized. I felt upset and unappreciated and so responded pretty bluntly, but then I felt guilty because I know my friend struggles with their mental health, so maybe they had been dealing with anxiety or depression and didn't want to talk or do anything. I apologized the next day for how I had replied and tried to open a conversation about how THEY were doing and if everything was okay, but I was kind of just shut down with an "its okay" response which made me uncomfortable then we didn't speak for around a month.

They then reached out with a "hey how are you" saying they missed me but with no acknowledgement of what had happened the last time we spoke. I replied and there was some small talk but again they took nearly two days to respond and I thought what was the point in even messaging me. Again then we didn't speak for a couple of weeks and they reached out again with just a picture of something I like but I didn't respond. I just didn't know what to do because since a month or two ago it's gotten to the point where I feel sick to my stomach with anxiety whenever they message me, I start shaking and I feel so uncomfortable-I noticed how much more peaceful I felt when I wasn't speaking to them, like, my anxiety just dropped a lot. I want to just distance myself, I don't want to talk to them. The thing is, I feel really guilty about this because they've been a really good friend to me in the past. I was going through something really rough recently and they were definitely there for me, but a couple weeks after they went back to slow replies just like before. I feel like I'm overreacting and also feel like I'm being a terrible friend for expecting so much from them. What if they're struggling? But at the same time, I feel like it's respectful to let a friend know if you're dealing with something (not necessarily giving details, just that you're not in the best place) so they can at least understand if someone doesn't reply. Is it selfish and entitled to think this way? Also, I feel like their flakiness has been an issue for a while but before it would just be little things like they would tell me they were going out to eat and would send me pics, or they bought cool stuff and would send me pics but...they never would and I would just be sat there waiting, so this also put me off wanting to share things with them. Then I guess they really flaked on me when they forgot about the movie.

I have seen how much time and effort this person makes for others e.g. if we are watching a movie together they spend the whole time pretty much texting other friends...so yeah I'm not sure. I;ve been for them through a lot too so it isn't like I'm just using them them throwing them away, but it also feels a little like I am. /: