L and I had session yesterday. We talked more about me thinking she lied. I had realized in her email from the other Monday, she said she didn't know what type of touch I was talking about. She said to her, it was like she was in a dark, but not scary, basement. She only had a flashlight and so she couldn't see the whole room, and she didn't want to bump into or miss something. I decided to directly tell her what I was talking about. Being direct is my goal for this year and I didn't want to waste time making her guess. I told her I'd turn on the basement light for her. Once I told her, she said she felt much better and finally understood the whole picture. I asked her if the basement was now scary, and she reassured me that it definitely was not.

I think we are finally on the same page. I think I logically trust her again, but emotionally I feel beaten up still. I'm glad she says she didn't lie, that she's open and flexible, and that she now understands the whole situation. She says she can totally see how I thought she lied, and reassured me that she wouldn't lie to me, not even a white lie. I'm very happy I went to my session that Tuesday and that we were able to work it out. I don't know what I'd do without her.