It's concerning how upset and emotionally challenged you get from what you shared. It was nice of you to comfort this individual when she was struggling with how the individuals in this group were behaving. The thing about connecting with others is that each person will be a little bit different in how they engage with others. Not everyone is going to fit your expectations of what you believe qualifies as a good friend. Actually, if you sit and think about your friend's complaints and how she talked about these other individuals, you will start to see what this person did not know how to handle or manage. In fact she is STILL showing you what she doesn't know. So ask yourself why would you get so upset with someone who doesn't know certain "how to's"? And why do you put your own value in the hands of someone that doesn't even know to care or navigate in a way that has the ability to value you or give you the attention you like?

When someone shows you who they are BELIEVE THEM. This relationship you experienced showed you the skill level this other person has, some only have a certain amount of skills and this is what this individual showed you. You CAN learn to be selective when it comes to interacting with others based on their behavior towards you. And what I mean by that includes being selective when it comes to understanding how that other person can appreciate you and reciprocate with genuine thoughtfulness.

Some individuals catastrophize constantly and that kind of individual can become high maintenance. Truth is, it can get so when X gets involved with anything that presents as a challenge, that person begins catastrophizing and having meltdowns and tends to fill a space with themselves pretty much pushing all others aside. Unless you have the ability to be constantly on call no matter what, then this kind of person isn't one you want to have in your orbit. This type of individual doesn't even "know" how draining they can be and mostly tend to be impulsive and only able to be in their own moment of catastrophie. If you fail to service their needs, they are very likely to blow up and catastrophize that too. Allowing yourself to feel bad when that happens isn't being fair to yourself and sometimes people actually do feel bad or rejected when often it's best for them to let go and find someone who has more ability to see they are genuinely dealing with big challenges of their own and can't be at the beckon call with every little catastrophy. I am just using that as one example of paying attention and believing this is a draining type individual and it's not your failing if you can't manage this type of individual. This type of individual needs you to sit with all their problems, and may at least acknowledge you but not in a meaningful way. That never means you don't deserve to have a caring friend or that you failed as a person when this kind of person distances and engages elsewhere.

This ghosting that people talk about experiencing? Well, that can mean someone is very busy and dealing with challenges and simply can't sit with you the way you want. This individual may be engaging in that group, yet it's very possible that she just wanted to find a way to do that better and isn't the kind that can maintain the relationship you experienced from her when you were helping her one on one.

Some people are VERY self centered and need a lot of attention. It doesn't MATTER how you feel, what matters is the AUDIENCE you provide for them. These individuals are often quite cold unless they are warm because you are tending to them as their audience. It's either their pitty party or their celebration, yet, it IS all about them.