Quote:
Originally Posted by cookiepie234
Well, this did make me think a lot, thank you.
Does it sound like I'm being a high maintenance friend? I didn't think of it like that  ( it's not that I expect her to be at my beck and call, of course not, and I try my hardest to be there through her problems as well. It's just difficult when she doesn't tell me that she's dealing with something and maybe needs space, and it just seems that she's inconsistent. /: |
Well, from what you shared it sounded like you were the one listening to her complaints a lot for a while. It might just be that this individual isn't one that can stay engaged with others for a long period. Maybe it's too much effort for her due to her bouts of depression. I just offered a few examples of different behaviors that present that may not be ideal for the kind of friendship that would be healthy for you. My concern was how you are expressing your unworthiness and self blaming.
I know for myself, I do try to sit with others the best way I can. I try to listen and be caring but I am never going to be perfect. There can be so many things about that other person that may make it challenging too. Sometimes a person just isn't available in what I might consider normal too. Often for myself, I had to learn for example that both my husband and my older brother don't have the attention span to sit and listen for very long. It's just they are wired and they get very distracted. I already know I can't expect more than they can give and it's not me, it's just how they are as people.
Are these individuals that you interact with mostly online?