I'm glad you liked your Christmas present, but i so wanted to tell you how much i miss you still. Time hasn't made the slightest difference to any of my feelings towards you.

I still havent grieved for any of my losses and i don't know why. I am divided, stuck, anxious, and that's without thinking about medical stuff, lockdown, parenting. It's overwhelming me and risking un-doing the work we did. I want so much to carry on working with you, even of it is long distance. Thats why i cant tell you i miss you. I'm trying to be good.