i've been seeing my T for four years. only recently are we arranging for my sessions to be covered by insurance. i get some handful of sessions approved by insurance. then to get more sessions T needs to submit a form/notes about me.

T and i agree that form/notes fall into the category of 'necessary evil' (we both know that necessary in this case means given my financial situation and the insurance bureaucracy. i am sure we can both imagine a better world where there is nothing necessary about forms!)

anyway, i don't want to see the form/notes. she wants to share them with me. she would rather i see them from her than come across them at some other time. i would rather not see them. i worry that, even though i would know why she was writing what she was writing, i would still feel hurt.

she has reluctantly agreed to keep them from me, though i told her she could tell me when she submitted them if it would ease the sense that she was keeping secrets from me. i am sure that we will talk about this again.

would you want to see your T's notes about you? why or why not? i worry that i am being a bit dramatic about the whole thing.