I am sorry you were in a relationship where someone needed to completely take over. People like this are in the dark triads and are all about their need for control. The average person may not know what to do as it's very dark and scary when someone needs this kind of control. It's not your fault that you did not quite know what to do. I know I have experienced these kind of controlling dark type triad individuals myself and they can be relentless with their need for control. You did the right thing when you finally got away from this individual. It's not surprising you freeze when you experience a reminder that triggers you to not know what to do.