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Desoxyn
Metaphysic
 
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Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
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Default Jan 24, 2021 at 06:43 PM
 
About once a week, there's a day where I take an extra 30mg of Vyvanse (For a total of 90mg during that day).

How much of a problem is this? I only do it when I am to take a larger phenibut dose (I'm trying to quit phenibut but it's hard). I'll have to tell my doctor about this slight abuse.

I only like both together - Phenibut (Mood) and Vyvanse (Focus).

I'm in a lot of mental pain and I would be able to tolerate the pain if people weren't so worried about me due to my mental illness. I become suicidal and such.

So when I get the Invega Trinza injection tomorrow, it will be easier to taper off of the phenibut.

I've been taking small amounts of psilocybin mushrooms and ordered kratom to take because no one listens to me - Really.. I have negative symptoms of schizophrenia and they love giving me antipsychotics - Which can cause brain damage.

I'm just doing what I have to do. My mom still drinks a bottle of wine every evening - My sister is going to leave. There's so much uncertainty in the world. I can't relax. I'm not taking benzos as much as I used to.

I get scared of myself when I'm unstable. I never get manic and never have been - Just apathetic agitated depression. I thought about buying MDMA because it helped me last time.

My mom takes a lot of vitamins so I thought that it would be ok and since I take meds, the rules of quitting everything completely doesn't seem logical. I also have been reading books and listening to podcasts about the drug war and addiction - And I have conflicting thoughts. No one has empathy for anyone it seems. People are so judgmental, dismissive, in denial, takes things out of context, doesn't know what is real.

Where is the love. I have no love in this world and never really did.
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