Every day I wonder whether or not I should attempt to eat more. Whether I am too thin or too fat or if I should maintain. If I am healthy or weak. I'm genuinely confused. Today I made a video of myself working out and I looked very thin. Looked at other videos I took of myself, and I look very thin. Something I want for myself is a personal trainer. I need to prioritize strength over thinness. But sometimes I think I'm not thin enough.

Apparently the amount of calories I should be eating to maintain my weight, factoring in my activity, is around 1900 per day. I just don't believe that. I worry about eating close to that number every day. It just seems like I would gain. Although lately I have been eating more than usual and I haven't really gained.