Last night I was missing the connection he and I once had. He's being so nice lately, so once again, the trauma bond rears its ugly head. I want all the good times and the good aspects back.... but I know it's a fallacy and it's not the whole picture. I don't want to miss him, and with him being so nice lately, it's hard not to miss that part of him. I'm right back to square one in my healing process.

Then again, all I have to do is read my sobriety list or go to one of my abuse groups on Facebook, and be reminded of all the reasons why I am leaving.

Why does he have to make this SO freaking hard? I feel like it's one step forward, two steps back.

I am in for the fight of my life getting out of this relationship.