All my life I knew something was different with me but until 13 years ago I didn't know it was depression. During those years I married a girl who offered all the things I was missing...attention, touching, wanting to see the world, having fun.
Probably no different than anyone else...I wanted a partner. I think I did my part in putting us in a position to do everything we talked about but then the dream started crumbling little by little. I thought it was because of having a family, too busy with the nurturing of children, my hours of work, saving for college, the ordinary marriage stuff. Now retired (my wife only worked part time for eight years) I thought we were free to reinvent ourselves together. The house is a mess. I clear a space...she fills it with something else. TV is constantly on with dribble. Projects begun and not finished unless I step in. Hobbies and interests...shopping for grandchildren. Seems like there is no physical attraction to me even for a hug or kiss. After fifty years I am back lonely, frustrated and down. I take my meds and talk to people but I feel in the same place I was in high school. Alone. Is there anyone who has a similar life with any advice?