MisterPaul, what I just stated isn't so much about NPD as it is more reflecting my own history and things I have observed, but the one thing that is different is the label. And from what I have been learning is these labels tend to develop from some kind of trauma in that person's childhood, or, it can be something that child was encouraged to be too.

I grew up in the late 50's and early 60's and that time was a lot different then today. Things I witnessed in my own childhood today would be considered "child abuse". When another person says "behaviors reflect good and bad etc." or something to that affect, it doesn't set well with me tbh. The reason for that is due to how I witnessed how badly my older brother was treated because he had behaviors that did not fit into what was desired so he was constantly punished and with what is known today, how he was treated would be considered "abuse".

When I listen to someone that feels bad because they can't seem to do something a certain way, I think about my brother and my mother and my father and even my older sister. My older brother had severe ADHD, and I believe he also had Dyslexia. My brother was severely abused and punished for something he could not help. My brother was told he was stupid, the sad thing about my brother is that he was actually extremely intelligent. When I sit and talk to my therapist, he talks about how his son has ADHD, and his wife also has it, yet his wife has a genuis IQ. What is nice about talking with my therapist about this is how what he shares is coming from a new understanding of something I had witnessed my older brother be abused for. My therapist talks about how this type of individual literally multitasks in their brain thinking about several things at once so in effect they are mentally multi-tasking. While AD tends to mean attention deficit, all that really means is that it's harder for that individual to have to sit and focus on one thing for too long. Often, what it means is how a person can think about five things at one time while another individual may need to focus on one thing at a time and may get frustrated if expected to think about five things at once. It can be the difference of how one person can have five different businesses going at once instead of only being able to handle one business needing all their focus to be on that one business alone. OR, it can be the difference of a person being able to wait on five tables at once in a restaurant compared to someone else that can only handle a couple or otherwise can get overwhelmed. And then there is what is called the hyper active part, and that is describing how this individual does best "in motion". So now we have "in motion thinking about several things at once". Does that equate to "stupidity"?

Well, given what I just shared lets see if ADHD equates to "stupid". Walt Disney had ADHD and it allowed him to build an empire and make many products that people love and want even long after his death. Micheal Phelps, who was the most decorated athlete of all time winning 14 gold medals. Micheal jordon, Jim Carrey, David Neeleman Aviation Entrepreneur, Will Smith, John F Kennedy, and Albert Einstein known to have both ADHD and Dyslexia. That's just a few.

There were plenty of reasons my older brother would struggle with self esteem. There are plenty of reasons my brother may have some narcissitic challenges. My brother was never ugly, and he was never stupid, yet, there is a child part in him that grew to believe he was ugly and also trying to prove he was not stupid. At your age he was often angry and had a lot to prove yet. Often the healing journey is a tough one when carrying some deep wounds that my brother carried.

MisterPaul, you are still young yet, perhaps in time you will heal and come to terms with what you see as those you must consider the ones you must be better than. You see, there is no black and white and when a person is young it can seem that way if they experienced being treated like less than. It's believable that you don't care, considering what you have shared. It can be sad when someone grows into a swan but carries around the ugly duckling. The hardest person to convince often is one's self.