I am super super down in the dumps today. SI and everything. I took two 1mil Xanax around 9:30 and 11. Then I just now took another 1mil and a 1mil XR. Just to see if they help somewhat with what I’m feeling. The carpets were installed this morning. My mom thinks gray carpets and gray walls will sell the place faster. It looks like a mental institution to me. It just feels so surreal now the move. Plus the new South African Covid strain is scaring the **** out of me. I am so so depressed today.

Plus my chest is hurting a lot for the first time since November and pain is tough on me. I used to have such a high tolerance. Things just suck.