Welcome to MSF, pinklucozade. I'm sorry I don't have any suggestions to offer you. I noticed you posted this in the Schizophrenia & Psychosis forum. The Dissociative Disorders forum, here on MSF, may also be one to read through as well as to post in regarding what you're experiencing. Here's a link just in case you haven't already found it:

https://mysupportforums.org/dissociative-disorders/

I hope you find My Support Forums to be of benefit.