I really do hate myself. I hate myself for falling back into bad habits so readily, so easily.

I am drinking too often, too much. And after nearly two years of sobriety this is quickly becoming an issue again. I’m doing my best to stay in control but I think I might be losing. At the same time, I’m not in a place where I’m ready to say no, I need to stop. I can bring myself back, maybe.

But then along with that I am so mad at myself for this, i thought I was finally over with this. And now, I’m adding to the scars. And it’s pretty bad. And I don’t know how to stop.

Honestly, I just feel a complete mess, and so alone with it all. And 100% hating myself for it all