Even though I woke up at 6 am this morning, I just couldn't move until after 10 am. Last night I slept alone in one of my s-i-l's bedrooms. Hubby slept in another because the bed in the room I am in slopes downward on one side, and next to a cold window on the other. I understand Hubby wanting a better sleep, but the loneliness and lack of physical closeness got to me.

From 6 am onward, all I had were sad thoughts. Feeling hurt by something said yesterday. Feeling alone. Already feeling the frustration of not understanding the language here in Czech Republic. Upset that they often talk over me, in Czech, as if I am a tree stump or child. Yes, I know no intentional harm is being done, but...

After some months of being strong with figurative calluses, some weakness and vulnerability is starting to show itself. Homesickness already. Homeless feeling. And yet we are to finally go to Brno tomorrow. So close, but I am weakening mere meters to the next stage of this journey. I am also keenly aware that the journey will be a long one with many challenges ahead.

Who knows. Maybe tomorrow I will feel strong again, with excitement. Or even this afternoon. Mood dips can be fleeting. Also, I have to know that anyone in my position--even those without mental health challenges--could feel the same.

I have asked my husband numerous times to just go for a walk with me, or take me to Prague, but he hasn't. His excuse is always that he has too much to do. But not even a 10 minute walk? Then, just a bit ago, he asked if I would like a walk with him. Finally. He now "gets" that my earlier sniffles were not a developing cold, as he earlier asked, but rather tears.

I will be alright.