Thanks here today.
I cant really see any clear connection between the past and now and me feeling ignored and not treated like a whole person. I guess my parents weren´t that attentive to my feelings but not to such an extent that I would call it neglect.
Yes, as my parents divorced when I was a teenager perhaps there is some trauma component in all this. I think I experienced it as more traumatic than I actually remember and I also think their divorce is partly why I´ve never been in a relationship myself.
I think is valuable to do some own observations as you mention. I often think about how my feelings might be connected to something in the past and my parents' divorce can be such an event.
The situation with the dog and my counselor´s "client", perhaps daughter, is though still inappropriate as she shouldn´t mix her private life with her working life in such a way that her clients risk meeting with her relatives. Staff working within psychiatric care should understand how this can be triggering.
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It seems good that you realize/know the reasons -- that you feel she ignores important parts of you and does not treat you like a whole person. And that there are often things that she says and does that are triggering to you, and that you feel empty and frustrated after your sessions.
I wonder -- and know that I may be way off base on this, so please toss this idea aside if it doesn't seem to fit -- are there people from your past who also ignored important parts of you and did not treat you like a whole person?
I know you can't change counselors and don't have an option for another kind of treatment, certainly nothing for trauma like EMDR. What I'm suggesting is that in addition to being disappointed and frustrated with your counselor for reasons relating to her own behavior and attitudes there may also be an element of transference. There may be traumas from your past that you don't entirely remember, or feelings associated with events that you remember, but not the feelings. But that was my situation and your situation may be entirely different. But if that is a possibility, and if your counselor can't help you with that -- as my last therapist couldn't help me with mine because of her own issues or something -- then maybe you can try to make some observations on your own, within yourself, about the kinds of things that trigger you, how that feels, and what that may be about? I don't know if that makes any sense. And it may not help any. Just a thought, though.
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