It's been a year and a day today since I last self harmed and I want to self harm. It's like the prospect of another year without self harm seems daunting. And I don't feel up to the task. I feel disappointed over my one year anniversary. I feel like my friends didn't really care enough. I bet if it was a physical problem and I made a lot of progress people would be happy for me. But because it is a mental illness people just don't get it. I did have one friend send me a card and that meant the world to me. Just to have her say, I don't always know what to say but I am always here. That was precious. Still I am in a dark mood today. I need to be in a better mood but it's hard. I just feel like sleeping so I don't self harm. Unfortunately I'm at work so that is not an option.