It takes time to Forgive but it can be done. Try to focus on your inner self and when you feel ready you may even try to contact them if you feel like it and perhaps try to make amends. Writing some letters may prove helpful even without sending them afterwards although that would be WONDERFUL! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Aviza, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!